Chocolate Covered, Crispy Bacon Burger – Otherwise Known As The Brooklynite.


OK, what do you do when your hunger is on over-load and you are so famished, you can’t figure out which teasingly tempting taste treat you should stick in your mouth first, in order to successfully satiate your “craver for flavor” as well as your stomach which is now dangerously below empty.

You’ve definitely gotta have bacon and at this point a burger sounds good, but your sweet tooth for chocolate is screaming out in need to be satisfied! So what do you do first? The good people over at “Epic Nomz” came up with a solution that sounds most reasonable and definitely enjoyable, to boot!

It’s called the “Brooklynite,” as the chefs that put their culinary creativity together to come up with this burger are located in … well you’re probably already well ahead of me on this one, and I’m guessing that you’ve already assumed … the city of Brooklyn, NY.

That is correct! Here’s what they have to say for themselves about this appetizing adventure and precisely how this deliciously delectable delight can find its way to a “mouth” near you … SOON!

Step 1: Bacon Dipped in Chocolate (Rain)

… You can cook the bacon like you would for any other dish, according to your preferences.  We went for a crispier texture that would really give the chocolate something to hold onto.

After letting the bacon dry off a bit, we began dipping the strips into chocolate that was melted in a makeshift double-boiler (read: two shallow pots stacked on top of each other).  The key is to fully submerge the bacon into the chocolaty goodness so that it really seeps into the ridges.  Once you’ve got all your bacon smothered, set it on a plate in the freezer for about 20 minutes to let the chocolate solidify.

NB:  It was our original plan to drizzle melted white chocolate over the chocolate-coated bacon, but it was fairly uncooperative so we abandoned that ambition fairly quickly.  Kudos to those to achieve the white chocolate drizzle effect.

Step 2:  Prepping the Patties

With one pound of vegetarian-fed ground beef on hand, we began sculpting the foundation of our meal – the rock on which our Church of Nomz is built. Since the quality and freshness of the meat was so high, we felt it unnecessary to add any spices or additional flavoring to the patties.  We did, however, chop up some Armenian string cheese, and carefully fold it into the meat.  You can really add in any kind of cheese you want (or omit it completely if you want your burger to be not as epic), but if you haven’t tried string cheese of the Armenian variety, you may find yourself surprised by its mild flavor, smooth texture, and well, stringy goodness.

Step 3:  Baking Buns, Cooking Cow

We went with a traditional white bread sesame seed bun, applied a layer of pepper-jack cheese, and laid each half open-faced on a baking rack.  We advise to let bake for about 5-7 minutes, or until buns reach the proverbial golden-brown hue.

Concurrently, we began cooking the patties on the stovetop in a pan greased in butter (as the bacon grease was busy cooking our fries).  For best results, keep the burger-flipping to a minimum.  Too much man-handling of the beef makes it tough and dry.  You want to be able to see the juices dripping from your burger when you take your first glorious bite.  Total cooking time on the two 8 oz. burgers for us was about 15 minutes, and the result was tender, juicy, savory patties of perfection.

You can also wash and prep the lettuce at this point.  We used a head of organic lettuce, but let’s be honest, leafy greens are not to be emphasized in this dish.  As long as you have something to add a little crispy crunch, we think you’re covered.

Step 4:  Put It Together, Admire Your Edible Artwork, and Nom Epically

Now, just look at that beautiful thing that is just sitting in front of you, begging to be devoured.  Notice how the chocolate, warmed by the heat emitted from the burger, begins to melt onto the patty.  It is truly love at first sight – beef and pork making sweet love on your hot buns.

As you attempt to wrap your mouth around this beastly creation, reflect on the savory aroma, mixed textures, and downright weightiness of the sandwich.  If you made the Brooklynite correctly, it will be massive.  When you finally take that first bite, the dichotomous flavor dynamic between the chocolate and bacon may be initially strange and confusing, but as your taste buds familiarize themselves with this new combination, you will begin to appreciate this unique, delectable taste.

Feel free to pair with your drink of choice.  We accompanied the Brooklynite with Stone Pale Ale.

Step 5: Reflect on What a Badass You Are

As digestion sets in and you find yourself slipping into a divine state of unconsciousness, think about what a great thing you did for yourself and for humanity. Rub that belly… you are a Hero.  Hells yeah, that was Epic.”

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