Best Bacon Song Ever? You Decide.

July 26, 2008 12:01 am Published by 4 Comments


On October the first, I was born
On October the eighth, my foreskin was no more
When I was 4, I went to synagogue to sing
“Hinei ma tov umanaim, shevet achim gam yachad”

When I was 8, I learned what you do
In order to become a respectable Jew
It’s only one word, 6 letters long its
K to the O to the S to the H to the E to the R
K to the O to the S to the H to the E to the R
So I kept it kosher with a smile
No cheeseburgers, shell fish and no swine
But when I went to college
I’m quite embarrassed to admit how much I that I love…

Bacon! Glorious greasy…
Bacon! It’s crispetty, crunchetty…
Bacon! In Hebrew they pronounce it Bachhone!

When I moved home, with a bachelor’s degree
I majored in pork with a minor in Miss Piggy
The secret well kept from my yenta mama, cause she’s
K to the O to the S to the H to the E to the R
My mother, she doesn’t even know
I’m a terrible Jew, ‘Mazel Tov’
But it’s so GOD damn good
When it touches my lips
I can eat myself up 50 strips of…

Bacon! No eggs no toast just…
Bacon! My arteries are clogged with…
Bacon! My cholesterol test reads…
Bacon! Fatty juicy shiny greasy smokey…
Bacon! Even Jesus will be feeding me…
Bacon! Aaaaaa-aaaaa-ham.

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