A Mighty Big Pan

November 13, 2008 12:01 am Published by 3 Comments

I promised you more song parodies, and that time has finally come. Bacon fans and avid BT readers Kristen Winalski and Jenny Wall have come through with another Salt-N-Pepa winner. This time set to the tune of their 1993 smash hit “Whatta Man”. There’s really not much I can say here. I think the lyrics speak for themselves. Go fry up a big pan of bacon while you sing along…

— Mr. B

Yeah, yeah (Oooo)
Uh, hey hey
All right, yeah
Oooo

[CHORUS]
Grab a pan, grab a pan, grab a pan
grab a mighty big pan
grab a pan, grab a pan, grab a pan
grab a mighty big pan
grab a pan, grab a pan, grab a pan
grab a mighty big pan
grab a pan, grab a pan, grab a pan
grab a mighty big pan

I wanna take a minute or two, and give much respect due
To the meat that’s made a difference in my world
And although most people know that the grease doesn’t flow on the down low
Cuz I’ll never be ashamed about it I’ll fry it proud on the grill.
And I don’t sweat it because it’s just pathetic
To let it get me involved in that eat this meat/you should eat this meat crowd
I know that ain’t nobody perfect, I give props to those baconistas who deserve it
And believe me y’all, this meat is worth it
So here’s to the bacon cuz it got us all fat
I finally found something crispy that can make me laugh
(Ha ha ha) all you vegans…don’t be hatin’
I think I wanna fry more bacon

[CHORUS]

My pan is smooth like buttah, and it’s got a heavy bass
A cast iron skillet gives it a real good taste
It cooks the bacon real crisp to perfection
And when my friends comes by they got a nice selection
I always have a pound for them everytime I see them
A lot of maple bacon, hickory smoked , I gotta feed ’em

I never had a complaint run by me once yet

So I cook them stuff that they’ll never forget
I keep them me on Cloud Nine feed ’em like royalty
let them soak up the grease wash it down with maple tea
They eat up so much pork, they bustin’ out of their jeans
I throw on another pound while I take out their seams

Yes, my pan really loves me, always gets nice and hot
fryin’ so good and never burns even when it gets too hot
See other pans that you have, they always burn up and stick
and every time you fried with it I said, “That’s not it”
But not this pan, I use the right potion
Bacon grease I use, I rub it down and make it smooth like lotion
Yeah, the ritual, highway to pork heaven
From seven to seven I’m always open like Seven Eleven
And yes, it’s me that everyone’s always choosin’
With me you’re never losin’, cause I keep the weight always comin’ on..I’ll even let ya take it to go, eat it while ya cruisin’

I always get prime cuts from my butcher all the time

Which means a lot to me cuz good butchers are hard to find

[CHORUS]

I’m the first lady of bacon, see this look on my face?
I’m not a spam-ma’am-thank-you-ma’am, I got real taste
I take my time and do everything right
I’ll knock you out with one shot for the rest of the night
and K’s my side-kick fryer, never in a rush
And she real gourmet shows off her skillz, gives it just the right touch
Spends quality time in the kitchen when she can
Secure in her baconess, yes she’s a real fan
A lover and a fighter and she’ll knock a vegan out
Don’t take her for a sucker cuz that’s not what she’s about
Every time I need her, she always got my back
Never buys generic bacon cuz her mama taught her that

[CHORUS]

photo credit:http://img.timeinc.net/time/daily/special/photo/hiphop/5.jpg


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This post was written by bacontodayadmin

3 Comments

  • Mike Cat says:

    I am a fan of that mighty big pan over here. These lyrics demand a proper tribute video, don’t you think? Nice work K-Dawg

  • Bakin4Life says:

    This is totally bacon art… Who would have thought pork would be so lyrical… Do the video smothered in bacon grease..

  • disappointment says:

    “These lyrics demand a proper tribute video, don’t you think?”

    I agree where is the fucking videos!??!?1?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?! lim(sin(x)/x) as x-> 0

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