But you know what? We don’t care that much for the usual boring turkey. It’s been done too many times. And adding some new seasoning isn’t fooling anyone. We want something new and exciting because we’re all interesting and awesome people. Let the boring folk dig into their typical annual turkey. We want the bacon! We want pork! Bring it on!

We all know about the infamous Turbaconducken. A chicken stuffed in a duck, stuffed in a turkey, and then all wrapped in glorious bacon. (Cleaning the drool off the keyboard… Hukjbklwekvfw… Okay, we’re good now.) That’s three birds all wrapped in a pig! You really have to try this beast! It’s something that will have even the grumpy, judgmental in-laws smiling from ear-to-ear. Kids love it because not only is it delicious, it looks so monstrously cool. As for the vegetarians; well, we feel very sorry for them and can’t help them with their “problem”. But for you awesome carnivores out there, the brilliant minds at Bacon Freak have created some flavored bacon bundles to wrap your birds in some pig! It’s the Turbaconducken Bundles! Each bundle contains delicious flavored bacon so you don’t have to add any seasoning! Hey, less work for you right? There’s the classic peppered bacon bundle for those of you that love that peppered meaty taste. A honey BBQ bacon bundle for those that love the sweet and savory flavor of a down-home BBQ; an apple cinnamon bacon bundle who like their meat sweeter, and a jalapeno bacon bundle for those who like their meat to have a kick! They even have an awesome side dish for you to create: The Ultimate BBQ Bacon Mashed Potatoes. Because garlic mashed potatoes are so last year.

So add some bacon to your holiday! Because like Bacon Freak states, “Bacon makes every meal taste better. It also makes uncomfortable family situations more bearable. (No more wine for you, Aunt Agnes!)”

Amen to that. A-men.

A Bacon Today reader made this delicious dish for Thanksgiving and wanted to share it with all the other bacon lovers out there.

I used 1 package of craft mac’n cheese and 3 packages of of thick sliced center cut bacon. I made the mac’n cheese the night before and put it in a bowl to chill in the fridge. The next morning I made the bacon-weave. To lengthen the roll I used 2 pieces of bacon with about an inch to 2 inches of the ends overlapping.

Once the weave was made I added a thin layer of mac’n cheese. I made sure I left about and inch to an inch and a half on the sides, and about 2 inches on the bottom for the roll.

After I rolled the log,

I put it in the smoker.

I had my temp around 300-350 degrees while it on the rack. At that temperature, it took approximately 3 1/2 hours to cook. Enjoy!

Just in time for the winter season comes a recipe that is sure to bring bacon lovers some warm holiday cheer. Turbaconducken. That’s right — a chicken stuffed in duck stuffed in a turkey, all wrapped in bacon. Otherwise known as a bacon-wrapped turducken. Just how did we create this meaty madness? Read on.

It all started with a dream…and a whole bunch of bacon. Five pounds of bacon to be exact. For some variety we used three types of bacon, including Rocco’s Country Peppered Bacon for the decorative topping.

We used a 15 pound turkey, a small duck, and a pre-cut whole chicken. We consulted the internet for a turducken recipe and hoped for the best.

We started by wrapping the chicken pieces in bacon.

Then we split the duck into two halves…

…and wrapped the duck halves in bacon.

At this point the chicken and duck started looking pretty big, so we test fit the pieces into the turkey. There wasn’t any room to spare but we managed to get all the pieces in there.

Then we wrapped the turkey in bacon and the feast was ready for the oven.

We cooked the birds in a roaster oven on low heat. Cooking took all day but the results were worth the wait.

The cooked concoction looked mouth-wateringly good after pulling it out of the oven.

Some of the bacon shifted during cooking, but overall the bacon held together quite well after an entire day in the oven.

The final product was moist and absolutely delicious. We used no seasoning whatsoever. The bacon gave the poultry just the right hint of salty goodness. The perfect holiday meal for bacon lovers everywhere!

Smaste™ rating: 45.953

Now that it’s really starting to feel like fall, thoughts can turn to holiday meals and family gatherings. And hey, what says happy holidays more than giant roasts swaddled in bacon?

We wouldn’t know. At Bacon Today, that’s why we’re happy to present a cool idea that combines the best in Thanksgiving turkey traditions with your favorite gateway meat: Bacon!

Let’s start here: Check out this link to a great technique for keeping lean turkey moist and succulent while boosting the overall flavor of the dish with bacony goodness. Then think about how you can inject some pork-fueled joy into your family’s awkward holiday gatherings.

We like this idea partly because it addresses the quandary facing millions of Americans every year when they look a huge turkey in the eye—make that the breast—and begin fretting over how to prepare the thing. An issue that vexes home cooks is every year is how to roast the bird and ensure it’s cooked through without drying it into oblivion. Let’s face it—even glorious bacon can be horrible when it’s dry and overcooked. It happens with a fully intact turkey when the bird sits in a roasting pan in the breast-side-up position. That lean breast meat is quick to cook (and dry out) while the dark cuts take their time to roast to the right temperature.

A simple solution for turkey that’s gaining considerable traction is to have your butcher section a whole turkey into parts for you. Yeah, we realize true butchers are disappearing as quickly as turkeys the week before Thanksgiving, but you can still find a professional in most cities or small towns. (Hint: If you don’t have a dedicated butcher shop nearby, ask for the butcher or meat manager at an upscale grocery or specialty food shop. The people there can sell you a whole turkey, cut the way you want, or just the breasts, trimmed and ready for their bacon wrap.)

That takes us back to our favorite new turkey preparation. Give it a shot this year. Enjoy the new flavor you’ll get with the bacon as well as the roasted pears and the cider-spiked gravy. We think it has great potential for all kinds of other birds, too. But this year, we suggest trying it on that massive Thanksgiving turkey. If you’re nervous about the results, roast a trial batch in advance with a few turkey parts or maybe a chicken. But most of all, don’t forget the bacon!

Need a baconfreak.com coupon?

Hello, and Happy Thanksgiving to our extended family of faithful BT readers. For those of you who love bacon in other parts of the world, all you need to know is that American Thanksgiving is a holiday when American families get together and eat far too much turkey, cranberry sauce and candied yams with toasted marshmallows on top in order to show appreciation for these plentiful times, which are different from a time about 500 years ago when there weren’t always enough turkeys and marshmallows to go around. 

By now, all of you American Baconites™ have gorged yourselves on juicy turkey and stuffing and are wallowing around on your couches and living room floors watching TV and holding your annual napping contests. And those of you who were able to gather the energy to actually open the lid of your laptop or, more amazingly, those of you who actually got up and walked over to your computer desk, are now reading this article. 

This is your prize for checking out BT on Thanksgiving night. A special little treat for our truest fans. Yes, I’m going to introduce a new word to you tonight. Several, actually.

As you know, BT is rather fond of inventing words such as Smaste™ and Turbaconducken™ that make no sense and have little practical application to the English language outside of discussions related to bacon. Even so, if we can add a few salty syllables to the lexicon (or better yet, the vernacular!) then we will consider our time to have been well spent. 

The first term we bring you tonight is Baconites™. In short, that’s YOU! A Baconite™ is a fan of bacon, specifically one who reads Bacon Today. It’s first official use on BT was in the second paragraph of this very article. It’s a fun word with a fun meaning. 

The next term is in the title of this article and is your extra special Thanksgiving bonus. ‘Thanksbacon’ was brought into this world by Bill Corbett of the Rifftrax Blog just a few days ago while he was sharing our Turbaconducken™ article with his readers. Thanksbacon is a clever and immediately descriptive term that describes any Thanksgiving meal that includes bacon in any way. When used together with the word ‘happy’ as in “Happy Thanksbacon”, it can take on a more general meaning of general well-wishing for a Thanksgiving that will include bacon for all. 

But wait, there’s more! If you read on you’ll see the entire First Edition Bacon Today Bactionary. Read it, know it, love it.

So Happy Thanksbacon, loyal Baconites™! Be Well, Be Happy, Be Bacon.

– Mike

The Official Bacon Today Bactionary – First Edition

11/27/08

back bacon (noun) - Prepared from brined, center-cut pork loin. (Wikipedia) See also, Irish bacon, Canadian bacon.

baclical (adj.) - When conversations or occurrences seem to revolve around bacon, they are baclical. Think cyclical, but with bacon.

bacompose (verb) – To write songs, music or parodies about bacon.

Bacomposer (noun) – One who writes songs, music or parodies about bacon or inspired by bacon. Jenny Winalski and Kristen Wall are wonderful Bacomposers who write musical parodies about bacon. Also -ed, -ing.

bacon (noun) - Delicious. Sweet. Written about daily on BaconToday.com.

bacon jerky (noun) - Dehydrated & treated bacon requiring no refrigeration. Take it with you on the road.

bacon test (bacon TEST) (noun) – A test to determine how much one likes bacon. Do you love bacon? Yes? Good. No? Ask again.

Baconista (noun) - One who both prepares and serves you bacon.

Baconite (noun) - A devoted fan of bacon, specifically one who reads BaconToday.com, a website that features daily updates on the world of sweet, sweet bacon.

Baconographer (noun) - One who writes about bacon and bacon related events.

bacontest (baCONtest) (noun) – A contest that involves or rewards contestants with bacon or bacon-related products.

Bacontrepeneur (noun) - A person who starts a business based on the preparation, distribution, sale or propagation of bacon and bacon-related products and other content. Justin & Dave, the Bacon Salt guys, are prime examples of bacontrepreneurs.

bacony (adj) – Of or relating to bacon.

bactastic (adj) – Amazingly wonderful, utterly fantastic bacon foods or experiences with bacon.

bactionary (noun) - The original dictionary of bacon from BaconToday.com.

Bactober (noun) - The 13th month of the year that should be recognized. (By the United Nations, if possible.)

bakini (noun) - Women’s swimwear made entirely of bacon.

belly bacon (noun) - Marbled, streaky or “American” bacon, which is made from the meat of a pig’s belly. See also: bacon.

Canadian bacon (noun) - See ‘back bacon’.

Enbaclopedia (noun) – A website of collection of books with articles that explore all aspects of all things bacon.

Irish bacon (noun) - See ‘back bacon’.

pre-bacon (noun) - A pig in its living & breathing state. If it will one day be bacon, then it’s pre-bacon today.

Smaste^TM (noun) - A proprietary Bacon Today rating system that represents a combination of smell and taste. This rating system is as arbitrary as it is inaccurate. The scale has a theoretical maximum of, oh, let’s call it 47. Bacon itself only factors in at a maximum Smaste^TM rating of 36.2174 when cooked to perfection. Smaste^TM is determined by the following made up formula, painstakingly developed by Mike Kirsch of Bacon Today: (([smell factor]+[taste factor])*uniqueness)/([strange factor]+[gross quotient])

Smastiness^TM (noun) – The quality of Smaste^TM contained in a food.

Smasteulator^TM (noun) – A device that calculates the Smaste^TM rating of a food.

Smastey^TM (adj) – Used to describe the amount of Smaste^TM contained in a food. Those bacon cinnamon rolls were very Smastey^TM. Those bacon lemon bars were not very Smastey^TM at all.

Thanksbacon (noun) – In America, Thanksbacon occurs any time bacon is made available or consumed during any meal eaten on the fourth Thursday of November. To wish someone “Happy Thanksbacon” is to impart a general sense of well-wishing that they may encounter bacon during Thanksgiving. Term first used by Bill Corbett of the Rifftrax Blog on November 24^th, 2008.

Turbaconducken (noun) – A chicken wrapped in bacon stuffed in a duck wrapped in bacon stuffed in a turkey wrapped in bacon. First prepared by Corey James of Bacon Today.

turkey bacon (noun) - Turkey that’s cut, seasoned and prepared in such as way as to pretend to be bacon, but is not actually bacon.

photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/schramroyal/2285345946/

Happy Thanksgiving to all our U.S. readers!

To honor the holiday, we’ve dug up 10 Thanksgiving-related bacon recipes from around the web. If you happen to try any of these, let us know.

1. Stuff that bird with style:
   Bacon, Mushroom, & Oyster Stuffing
2. Don’t worry, your kids will eat them:
   Bacon Brussle Spouts
3. Salty & Fruity:
   Bacon-Apple Stuffing
4. Swap chicken for turkey and we’ve got a winner:
   Bacon-Wrapped Drumsticks
5. Start that meal off right:
   Greens with bacon and avocado dressing
6. What’s Thanksgiving without a cheese log?
   Cheese mobis with bacon, spinach, garlic, and roasted pine nuts
7. Smash those taters:
   Bacon smashed red potatoes
8. White (meat) Wrapper:
   Bacon-wrapped turkey with pear cider gravy
9. Still not stuffed?
   Bacon and bourbon stuffing
10. When the party’s over:
    Leftover Turkey, Sweet Potato and Bacon Chowder

This one goes to 11:
If you’re looking for a good pre-meal snack (and you can get them imported), make sure you have some turkey & bacon flavored crisps (potato chips) from Walkers. These look very intriguing to a bacon lover around the holiday season.

Photo credits:

http://flickr.com/photos/gilgongo/335014132/

http://flickr.com/photos/dyobmit/67409642/