One of the nice things about writing for the world’s best bacon news site is that people occasionally send us free stuff.

Our most recent form of free stuff was a set of coupons to go try out the new Applewood Smoked Bacon Deluxe burger at Wendy’s. No complaints here; I really like Wendy’s to begin with. They have variety – you can get a burger, chili, a potato or all three. Plus, they still have the best dessert deal in all of FastFoodia – the junior Frosty. Where else can you get the perfect amount of post-meal suckable ice cream for $0.53?

But, let me assure you that bacon remains king, and even though I like Wendy’s (and they had sent me free coupns), I went in with the mindset that if it sucked, I would tell the world about it. Frankly, I had very low expectations – I have rarely (if ever) had fast food bacon that really passes the test. Sometimes it is acceptable, sometimes it is limp and soggy, but never has fast food bacon been amazing.

Until now.

I’m not kidding.

WOW!

Here’s the thing – the Bacon Deluxe starts off like any other bacon burger. It has meat, cheese, lettuce, ketchup, tomatoes, onions, mayo, pickles and buns.

And then they add bacon. Applewood smoked bacon. CRISPY, thick, straight-from-the-breakfast-table Applewood Smoked Bacon.

At a fast food establishment, I have never met its equal. The truth is that rapid, high-volume production and bacon are not a match made in heaven. Fast food bacon is usually limp and soggy as a result. In order for bacon to be truly delicious it must be given some time, love and attention in the kitchen.

With this burger’s bacon, Wendy’s seems to have bridged the great fast food bacon divide. I don’t know how they did it, but it seems like they stole it from somebody’s kitchen table.

This is my friend Jonathan inspecting the quality of his burger before tasting. His only complaint was that the lettuce was kind of pale green in comparison to the thick, rich, Al Gore green that was depicted on the Bacon Deluxe standee that was on the floor a few feet away from us.

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And then it was time for the taste test. We were both blown away! I think it’s worth mentioning again that Wendy’s sent us free coupons for the burgers, but the burgers were ALSO delicious. No kidding. I loved this thing. The burger itself was up to snuff with all the other standard burgers on the Wendy’s menu, but the bacon blew this thing off the charts. The Bacon Deluxe unequivocally has the best fast food bacon I have ever tasted.

This is one of me testing out the bacon by itself. Mmmm…

It’s good, fellow Baconites. It’s really good.

Jonathan’s Smaste™ Rating: 38.000

My Smaste™ Rating: 44.971

– Mike

It’s a combination of smell and taste.

It’s a rating system that’s as arbitrary as it is inaccurate.

It’s Smaste™!

The first time we mentioned Smaste™ was just a few days ago when we made it up in the In-N-Out Has No Bacon post. With the advent of modern technology, Bacon Today is proud to announce the offical introduction of the Smaste™ Rating Index (SRI) and the Smasteulator™, which is a calibrated Smaste™ calculator that is implanted in the smell and taste portions of each Bacon Today staff writer’s brain. (Don’t worry, anyone with a true love of bacon will eventually be able to develop their own sense of Smaste™.)

The true genius behind the SRI is proprietary, so I’m not at liberty to give you all the details. What I can tell you is that the basic mathematical formula looks something like this…

(([smell factor]+[taste factor])*uniqueness)/([strange factor]+[gross quotient]) = Smasteulator™ Rating

Determining all of those factors and quotients is part of the secret Smaste™ process, so leave it to us for the time being.

All you need to know is that the maximum theoretical value for the Smastiness™ of a food or beverage is… oh… let’s call it 47. For point of reference, bacon itself only factors in at a Smasteulator™ Rating of 36.2174 when cooked to perfection. Achieving the theoretical maximum requires a special combination of flavors and textures as well as the right attitude and a bit of luck for good measure. (Timing is everything.)

Get out there and start experimenting. If you find a menu item somewhere be sure to tell us where the restaurant is so that we can go assign the meal a Smasteulator™ rating. If you whip up a new creation in your own kitchen that you think deserves a rating, send us the recipe so we can try it for ourselves.

Bacon Today is committed to the worldwide establishment of the Smaste™ Rating Index. As always, your comments and input are welcome, and in the case of the SRI, they are crucial to the process.

How can this be? It is a paradox, for sure. Best burgers! No bacon?!

I was reading the post about ordering off the menu at fast food restaurants over at the 1000 Awesome Things blog and was thrilled to see that they had included In-N-Out’s “secret menu”. As I sat salivating over that blog the no-bacon realization came over me all at once.

Could it be? Is it true? No bacon at In-N-Out? Sadly, yes.

“But the burgers are so delicious. What ever can I do?” you plead.

“There, there, now. No need to fret, friend. I have an idea,” I offer in sympathy as you rub your baconless belly.

Bring your own bacon. It’s just that easy. The next time I go to In-N-Out, I’m going to be prepared. I will cook up some bacon in the morning. Nice and crispy, just the way I love it. I’ll put said bacon strips into a ziploc bag and bring them with me to the drive-through window. I’ll order a cheeseburger Animal Style, as any true In-N-Out lover does. And then… I will add bacon. Oh yes, I will.

I can smell/taste (smaste?) it now. The toasted bun, the “special” sauce, the grilled onions, the crisp lettuce, the tangy pickles, (no tomatoes for me) and at long last, the bacon.

The bacon.

Oh, the bacon.

Pictures and smaste rating to follow.

Anticipation to build wildly.