There isn’t exactly any bacon in this article, but given the subject matter, we felt it was important to bring you this news anyway, since pancake-batter-in-a-can is most certainly a gateway food to more bacon.

Here’s how it works:

You buy a can of pancake batter in a can.

You spray it onto a frying pan.

You wait a minute and flip.

You wait another minute and eat fluffy, yummy pancakes.

I was extremely impressed by the ease of preparation and the associated deliciousness. These pancakes were really very good – which I didn’t expect from a can. Other benefits include the fact that this batter is organic, and that it can double as waffle-in-a-can mix. It’s really a win-win for the breakfast table.

I think we need to do a canned breakfast taste test where we marry pancakes in a can with bacon in a can. We could wash it all down with canned orange juice and garnish with canned fruit. (Corey has the rest of the canned bacon right now, so I’ll have to get it from him.)

Organic Batter Blaster Pancakes in a Can Smaste™ rating: 42.467

–Mike

I attended an awesome party on Massachusetts (“Mass Ave” for you locals) and got a little tipsy. After the party I decided it would be a good idea to walk back to my downtown hotel. After about 45 minutes of stumbling around the city after midnight, I began to get hungry. I was quite lost until I found the direction I didn’t even know I was headed — toward Steak & Shake and what would turn out to be one of the best bacon burgers I’ve ever tasted.

I ordered the “Single Steakburger™ with Bacon & Cheese ‘n Fries”. For only $3.99 I figured I couldn’t go wrong. Turns out Steak & Shake is a build-your-own-burger kind of place so I let my waitress know my request for toppings: onions, pickles, lettuce, and mustard. I kept it simple so as not to dampen the bacony goodness headed my way.

When the burger arrived it looked great. A perfectly buttered bun on a well-arranged plate. A deep green leaf of fresh, crisp lettuce was spilling out of the sandwich. Keep in mind it was nearing 12:30 a.m., the place was packed with people, and the food still came fresh and well-prepared. Very impressive.

When I popped the top off the burger my jaw nearly hit the table. The bacon was prepared to perfection and had no resemblance to the usual limp, flimsy bacon you usual get at fast food restaurants. I immediately tore off a section of bacon to give it an unhindered taste. True to its appearance the bacon was fantastic. I quickly reassembled the burger and got to work on the meal.

From first bite to last, the Single Steakburger™ with Bacon & Cheese was a definite winner. Classic burger taste. Full, salty bacon flavor. A highly recommended experience if you’re ever within the vicinity of a Steak & Shake restaurant. this burger earned an extremely high  Smaste™ rating of 42.94 and will likely be ordered again as soon as I see another Steak & Shake.

–Corey James

UPDATE: I ended up going back to Steak & Shake three nights in a row and ordered the same bacon burger. Each time it was the same tasty meal, so my after midnight experience was not a fluke.

And then there was Charley’s.

Oh, Charley’s. Your slightly overpriced, marginally decent steak sandwiches are usually tolerable. I have eaten your Philly cheesesteaks and your bacon cheddar fries a few times over the past decade or so. You have always been – at best – an acceptable place to have a meal of convenience about once every 24 months.

But today, all that changed.

Today, I discovered the Chicken Bacon Swiss sandwich. I wasn’t even thinking of writing an article about the sandwich – after all, it was from Charley’s Grilled Subs and really, who cares about Charley’s Grilled Subs? Even THEY don’t care! When you visit the Charley’s website it seems like the best thing that even THEY can think of to say is that Charley’s is great because you get to watch them make your food. Wow. What other amazing fast food innovations have they come up with? Free napkins?

But the sandwich just sounded good, so I ordered it and figured that eating the sandwich would give me something to do for a few minutes in the middle of the day.

And then it arrived. 

Toasted bread. Crisp, cool lettuce. Tender, shaved chicken. And bacon. REAL bacon. Two strips of honest-to-God, freshly fried, crispy, tasty bacon! I’m not talking about standard, run-of-the-mill, cooked yesterday, soggy, chewy, tasteless bacon. No, this was real bacon, and it might as well have been cooked up in my own kitchen.

There just may be hope for you yet, Charley’s. 

Smaste™ Rating: 43.434

Hello, and Happy Thanksgiving to our extended family of faithful BT readers. For those of you who love bacon in other parts of the world, all you need to know is that American Thanksgiving is a holiday when American families get together and eat far too much turkey, cranberry sauce and candied yams with toasted marshmallows on top in order to show appreciation for these plentiful times, which are different from a time about 500 years ago when there weren’t always enough turkeys and marshmallows to go around. 

By now, all of you American Baconites™ have gorged yourselves on juicy turkey and stuffing and are wallowing around on your couches and living room floors watching TV and holding your annual napping contests. And those of you who were able to gather the energy to actually open the lid of your laptop or, more amazingly, those of you who actually got up and walked over to your computer desk, are now reading this article. 

This is your prize for checking out BT on Thanksgiving night. A special little treat for our truest fans. Yes, I’m going to introduce a new word to you tonight. Several, actually.

As you know, BT is rather fond of inventing words such as Smaste™ and Turbaconducken™ that make no sense and have little practical application to the English language outside of discussions related to bacon. Even so, if we can add a few salty syllables to the lexicon (or better yet, the vernacular!) then we will consider our time to have been well spent. 

The first term we bring you tonight is Baconites™. In short, that’s YOU! A Baconite™ is a fan of bacon, specifically one who reads Bacon Today. It’s first official use on BT was in the second paragraph of this very article. It’s a fun word with a fun meaning. 

The next term is in the title of this article and is your extra special Thanksgiving bonus. ‘Thanksbacon’ was brought into this world by Bill Corbett of the Rifftrax Blog just a few days ago while he was sharing our Turbaconducken™ article with his readers. Thanksbacon is a clever and immediately descriptive term that describes any Thanksgiving meal that includes bacon in any way. When used together with the word ‘happy’ as in “Happy Thanksbacon”, it can take on a more general meaning of general well-wishing for a Thanksgiving that will include bacon for all. 

But wait, there’s more! If you read on you’ll see the entire First Edition Bacon Today Bactionary. Read it, know it, love it.

So Happy Thanksbacon, loyal Baconites™! Be Well, Be Happy, Be Bacon.

– Mike

The Official Bacon Today Bactionary – First Edition

11/27/08

back bacon (noun) - Prepared from brined, center-cut pork loin. (Wikipedia) See also, Irish bacon, Canadian bacon.

baclical (adj.) - When conversations or occurrences seem to revolve around bacon, they are baclical. Think cyclical, but with bacon.

bacompose (verb) – To write songs, music or parodies about bacon.

Bacomposer (noun) – One who writes songs, music or parodies about bacon or inspired by bacon. Jenny Winalski and Kristen Wall are wonderful Bacomposers who write musical parodies about bacon. Also -ed, -ing.

bacon (noun) - Delicious. Sweet. Written about daily on BaconToday.com.

bacon jerky (noun) - Dehydrated & treated bacon requiring no refrigeration. Take it with you on the road.

bacon test (bacon TEST) (noun) – A test to determine how much one likes bacon. Do you love bacon? Yes? Good. No? Ask again.

Baconista (noun) - One who both prepares and serves you bacon.

Baconite (noun) - A devoted fan of bacon, specifically one who reads BaconToday.com, a website that features daily updates on the world of sweet, sweet bacon.

Baconographer (noun) - One who writes about bacon and bacon related events.

bacontest (baCONtest) (noun) – A contest that involves or rewards contestants with bacon or bacon-related products.

Bacontrepeneur (noun) - A person who starts a business based on the preparation, distribution, sale or propagation of bacon and bacon-related products and other content. Justin & Dave, the Bacon Salt guys, are prime examples of bacontrepreneurs.

bacony (adj) – Of or relating to bacon.

bactastic (adj) – Amazingly wonderful, utterly fantastic bacon foods or experiences with bacon.

bactionary (noun) - The original dictionary of bacon from BaconToday.com.

Bactober (noun) - The 13th month of the year that should be recognized. (By the United Nations, if possible.)

bakini (noun) - Women’s swimwear made entirely of bacon.

belly bacon (noun) - Marbled, streaky or “American” bacon, which is made from the meat of a pig’s belly. See also: bacon.

Canadian bacon (noun) - See ‘back bacon’.

Enbaclopedia (noun) – A website of collection of books with articles that explore all aspects of all things bacon.

Irish bacon (noun) - See ‘back bacon’.

pre-bacon (noun) - A pig in its living & breathing state. If it will one day be bacon, then it’s pre-bacon today.

Smaste^TM (noun) - A proprietary Bacon Today rating system that represents a combination of smell and taste. This rating system is as arbitrary as it is inaccurate. The scale has a theoretical maximum of, oh, let’s call it 47. Bacon itself only factors in at a maximum Smaste^TM rating of 36.2174 when cooked to perfection. Smaste^TM is determined by the following made up formula, painstakingly developed by Mike Kirsch of Bacon Today: (([smell factor]+[taste factor])*uniqueness)/([strange factor]+[gross quotient])

Smastiness^TM (noun) – The quality of Smaste^TM contained in a food.

Smasteulator^TM (noun) – A device that calculates the Smaste^TM rating of a food.

Smastey^TM (adj) – Used to describe the amount of Smaste^TM contained in a food. Those bacon cinnamon rolls were very Smastey^TM. Those bacon lemon bars were not very Smastey^TM at all.

Thanksbacon (noun) – In America, Thanksbacon occurs any time bacon is made available or consumed during any meal eaten on the fourth Thursday of November. To wish someone “Happy Thanksbacon” is to impart a general sense of well-wishing that they may encounter bacon during Thanksgiving. Term first used by Bill Corbett of the Rifftrax Blog on November 24^th, 2008.

Turbaconducken (noun) – A chicken wrapped in bacon stuffed in a duck wrapped in bacon stuffed in a turkey wrapped in bacon. First prepared by Corey James of Bacon Today.

turkey bacon (noun) - Turkey that’s cut, seasoned and prepared in such as way as to pretend to be bacon, but is not actually bacon.

photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/schramroyal/2285345946/

Oh, thank you, Oscar Mayer, for bringing us this…

It’s bits of real bacon.  In a bag.  On a shelf.  In my grocery store for $2.99!

Next time you’re cooking (anything) that doesn’t already have bacon, give this bag of awesome a try. This product has a Smaste™ rating modifier of +6, meaning any dish you add it to will automatically gain 6 smaste points on top of its regular rating. 

Special thanks to anonymous bacon fan “Mom” for sending this one in.

I’ve seen this one in a few places, so I’m not sure who gets credit for inventing it. The first place I found it, though, was over at SeriousEats.com where they tend to have great stories about all kinds of food-related topics.

In October, they discussed the bacon hamburger fatty melt and let me tell you, my inner Smasteulator&#0153 exploded. This thing is made of two bacon grilled cheese sandwiches, which are used as the bun for a bacon cheeseburger. That’s right, this sandwich is made by stacking bread, bacon, cheese, bread, burger, cheese, bacon, bread, cheese, bacon and bread. WOW!

It might not be medically advisable to make and eat this sandwich, but it does look so crazy tasty that I’m not sure if I can walk away. 

I understand, of course, that this sandwich has the same ingredients as a standard bacon cheeseburger. The proportional balance is different, though, and the grilled bread is most definitely a unique addition. 

So maybe I’ll make one, and try just one bite. (Okay, five bites.)

– Mike

Photo Credit: 

Hot on the heels of our successful experiments with bacon brownies and bacon cinnamon rolls, I decided that I was going to try to make bacon cupcakes. And I will… eventually. But first I did a little search to see if anyone else had already done it. I thought I might find a good recipe to try or perhaps a warning against trying such a concoction.

Sure enough, it’s out there. The trusty San Francisco Yelp had a little blurb about some maple bacon cupcakes from the Cups and Cakes Bakery. According to one reader, ”Jesus has returned in the form of a half-dollar sized Maple Bacon cupcake.” Bold statement. Delicious nonetheless, I’m sure.

Have any of you been up to the Bay recently? Try one for yourself and send us a Smaste™ rating.

– Mike

photo credit: http://londonist.com/attachments/London_Talia/cupcakes081206.jpg

Kosher bacon?

Maybe not.

Kosher Lox?

A staple of any respectable oneg.

Bacon of the Sea™?

Most definitely. 

You see, bacon and lox have a lot in common. They’re both made of meat. They’re both smoked and salty. They’re both pinkish-brown in color. 

And most importantly, they are both unimaginably delicious.

According to YumSugar,(from whence we borrowed the mouth watering picture above) lox is defined as “A cured salmon fillet that is usually sliced super thin. It is most typically served with cream cheese on a bagel. The term is derived from the German word Lachs in German and laks in Yiddish, both meaning salmon. It’s traditionally cured in a brine of water, oil, salt, sugars and spices.”

So grab a friend, get some lox and enjoy this tasty, salty, delicious, nutritious treat that for some unknown reason goes great with a bagel and cream cheese. 

Smaste™ rating: 44.891

– Mike

Photo Credit: http://www.yumsugar.com/494641

I know we have promoted the idea that bacon is wonderful and makes all things better. There is, however, a limit to that theory, and this is it. Bacon Lemon Bars came about while I was buying the ingredients for bacon brownies. I was in the grocery store looking at all the brownie varietals and there it was… a box of lemon bar mix.

So tangy. So irresistible. 

And I already had the bacon. How could I resist?

Well, I should have.

I made the bacon as specified in the bacon brownies post – cooked to brown on both sides, but not fully crispy. I then lined an 8″x8″ pan with the crust and baked it for about 10 minutes as per the instructions on the box. This is the crust mix before going into the oven…

And after receiving a quick pre-lemon bake…

While the crust was being prepared, I whisked up the rest of the mix. For those of you who like pretty pictures, it looked like this…

And then came the part when I should have known better. The part when I should have stopped. The part when even though every little nugget of common sense told me that bacon and lemon is a gross combination I still went through with adding bacon and cooking the lemon bars.

Think I’m exaggerating? Judge for yourself. This is right after I added the bacon to the lemon bar mix…

I only put bacon in half the mix so I could compare the lemon bars with and without bacon. 

Trust me, without is better.

Here’s what they looked like when they came out of the oven. I added some powdered sugar and hoped for the best.

Here’s the thing – lemon bars are great, but the puckery sweetness of a sweetened lemon mix just doesn’t want or need the salty amazingness of bacon.

The flavors collided. Disagreed. Argued. Fought. Bitched about each other to their friends. Bacon called Potato Chips and vented for an hour. Lemon called Chocolate and cried. 

In the end, they realized that maybe they were both to blame. They got a divorce as a matter of course and they parted the closest of friends. 

And I, as Bacon Today’s Head Chef, will never go back there again.

Bacon lemon bars are terrible. Consider yourself warned.

Smaste™ rating: 4.081

– Mike

It’s a fantasic blog written by a talented writer. Every day, we are treated to a detailed story about something awesome. The smell of rain on a hot sidewalk. Wearing underwear just out of the dryer. The first scoop out of a jar of peanut butter. Wow. Those things are awesome! Counting down from the 1000th most awesome thing, they are still in the 900′s, so this is the perfect time to get in early.

Now, technically, blogs are inedible, but I’m still willing to give 1000 Awesome Things a solid Smaste™ rating of 45.313.

We’re confident that bacon will be the #1 most Awesome Thing (how could it not be?), so it will be a while before you get to read about Mr. B on that blog. Until then, though, you should check in daily for another clever story. Daily blogs, after all, are…

AWESOME!