I’m an adventurer by trade. My career has been varied thus far, but I tend to gravitate towards the positions that require me to either get on an airplane, go through security or otherwise gain access to restricted or dangerous places that normal, sane people generally avoid, like the side of an F1 racetrack or remote rural areas of Ethiopia.

I once was told I needed to climb the Brooklyn Bridge with a 90 pound pack and stay up there taking pictures all night long. So I did it. With glee. 

I’ll really try anything that I don’t think will immediately kill me. 

And then came tofu bacon.

Take a look at Shana’s “Not Out On VHS Yet” blog. She bought and tried the Morning Star tofu bacon strips. Her review is classic. I especially like this bit:

The “bacon” was… limp and rubbery, a failed attempt to come anything close to the crispy greasy piece of pork that everyone is so obsessed with.

She just makes it sound so appealing. It’s chewy. It’s rubbery. And it’s marbled with what can only be red dye #5 or some similar not-bacon additive.

It scares me. 

I’m reminded of our experiment with bacon-wrapped polenta from our 12 Days of a Bacon-Wrapped Christmas series. It was bland and disgusting. Bacon-wrapped chicken liver was even worse; it was disgusting and disgusting.

Of course, I did try it. 

I guess that means that for all my whining I’ll eventually try bacon tofu, too. I’ll just need to get my courage up, first. 

Until then, I’ll just retreat to the safety of my dangerous job.

– Mike