When we last spoke about In-N-Out, morale was low; they have no bacon on their menu and they have no plans to add it in the near future.

It’s depressing and, frankly, a little upsetting that the creator of the best burger ever has not branched out into experimentation with the candy of meats. That’s okay, I guess. Perhaps it’s the fact that In-N-Out sticks to just a few menu items that has enabled them to attain such smastey perfection.

Hamburgers…

Cheeseburgers…

Fries…

Sodas…

Shakes…

Animal Style…

Protein Style…

Multiplier Style (3×3, 4×4, 50×50, etc.)…

…and that’s about it.

Today, though, that’s all about to change, because nobody can stop a Bacon Today staff writer from bringing their own bag of bacon to the party. (Oh, when bacon is involved, it’s a party.)

Yesterday at lunch time I went to In-N-Out with Mr. B and another bacon loving friend. I walked up to the counter and was greeted in classic In-N-Out style by a happy teenager with a toothy grin and a great attitude, “Welcome to In-N-Out. May I take your order?”

“Yes, Sir. I’d like a #2 Animal Style, no tomatoes. And would you add bacon to that, please?” I added hopefully.

“I’m sorry, Sir, we don’t have bacon,” he said with a smile and a certain In-N-Out panache that almost made me feel good about it.

I wasn’t too worried… I had brought along a bag of bacon!

I took a long look at my Animal Style cheeseburger and breathed deeply to absorb as much of the delightful aroma as I could.

Then, for possibly the first time in history, I took three strips of bacon from my bag of bacon and made this masterpiece…

Oh, yes! Your eyes are not telling lies… you see before you an In-N-Out bacon cheeseburger.

I picked it up… took a bite…

…and was somewhat disappointed. I hate to say it, but In-N-Out may not have bacon for a reason. The delicious, sweet, palette pleasing saltiness of bacon was a bit overpowering for this burger. The addition of a crunchy texture was nice, but the lettuce usually does a good job of that on its own.

For any of the faults of the In-N-Out bacon cheeseburger, it’s not gross (and really, how could anything with bacon be gross?) It’s just a bit disappointing. Still, It’s a unique and rare combo, so the Smasteulator™ rating is a solid 32.671.

Keep up the great work, In-N-Out!

Now it’s your turn. Get out there with your own bag of bacon and send us pictures of bacon on or in foods where it normally wouldn’t be found.

I’m waiting…

–Mike

Those of you living east of the Rockies may not know about the glory that is In-N-Out. Let it suffice to say that by trucking in fresh ingredients every day they are able to have the freshest tomatoes, the crispiest lettuce, the spongiest buns and the friendliest employees of any fast food chain.They have been gracing west-coast residents with their deliciousness since 1948. In my opinion they are the best fast food chain with the best tasting burgers in the world. Yes, the world. (Easy now, Tommy’s fans… I’ll hear your pathetic arguments in sidebar later.) But in all their burger wisdom they still do not have bacon on their menu.

How can this be? It is a paradox, for sure. Best burgers! No bacon?!

I was reading the post about ordering off the menu at fast food restaurants over at the 1000 Awesome Things blog and was thrilled to see that they had included In-N-Out’s “secret menu”. As I sat salivating over that blog the no-bacon realization came over me all at once.

Could it be? Is it true? No bacon at In-N-Out? Sadly, yes.

“But the burgers are so delicious. What ever can I do?” you plead.

“There, there, now. No need to fret, friend. I have an idea,” I offer in sympathy as you rub your baconless belly.

Bring your own bacon. It’s just that easy. The next time I go to In-N-Out, I’m going to be prepared. I will cook up some bacon in the morning. Nice and crispy, just the way I love it. I’ll put said bacon strips into a ziploc bag and bring them with me to the drive-through window. I’ll order a cheeseburger Animal Style, as any true In-N-Out lover does. And then… I will add bacon. Oh yes, I will.

I can smell/taste (smaste?) it now. The toasted bun, the “special” sauce, the grilled onions, the crisp lettuce, the tangy pickles, (no tomatoes for me) and at long last, the bacon.

The bacon.

Oh, the bacon.

Pictures and smaste rating to follow.

Anticipation to build wildly.