Kristen and Jenny, our fabulous bacon song parody writers, have  come out of a long bacon break with a brand new parody -- this time of the holiday classic “Winter Wonderland”.

Plus, as an added bonus, BT has uneartherd the best-ever version of the song.

Happy Holidays, Everyone, from all of us at Bacon Today.

-- Mr. B

******

The bacon pops, are you listening,

In the pan, pork is sizzling.

A Christmas delight ,

We’re happy tonight.

Walking in a Meaty Baconland.

Cook away till it’s real browned

Heres to all a slice of bacon

It tastes very good

just like it should,

Walking in a Meaty Baconland.

In the kitchen we will cook some breakfast, You will prepare the entire pound.

He’ll say: Are you hungry

We’ll say: “Hell yeah,”

But if you cook it

Don’t eat the whole pound.

The bacon pops, are you listening,

In the pan, pork is sizzling.

We’ll eat it galore

And then we’ll make more

Walking in a Meaty Baconland.

Cook away till it’s real browned

Heres to all a slice of bacon.

Buy the best grade,

The pork is home made,

Walking in a Meaty Baconland..

In the kitchen we will cook the bacon,

I prefer when it is slightly browned.

We’ll have lots of fun with bacon makin’, Until the other kiddies chomp it down.

When it heats, ain’t it thrilling,

Though your nose might start drippin’

We’ll fry-it all day, like Bacon Today

Walking in a Meaty Baconland.

On December 24 each year, a day-long celebration of the travels of Mary & Joseph takes place through the Ecuadorian town of Cuenca. What’s the have to do with bacon you ask? Take a look at the following photo.

Have you ever seen a pig celebrated so gloriously? Any festival, parade, or other holiday event that gives it up to mother pork with such in-your-face and colorful zest is someplace that we want to be.

See you all in Ecuador this Christmas!

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/morejon/, http://www.flickr.com/photos/mmoorr/

Day 12 of “The 12 Days of a Bacon-Wrapped Christmas“ brings us a bacon-wrapped chicken breasts with ham & swiss!

On the 12th day of a Bacon-Wrapped Christmas we had to come up with a recipe that would really cap off the twelve days of cooking with a fun and tasty meal. We certainly found it with bacon-wrapped chicken breasts stuffed with ham & swiss cheese. Here’s how to make this scrumptious dish yourself.

First, grab two big breasts. The bigger the better (for room to stuff in the ham & swiss you dirty-minded bacon lovers).

Split the breasts down the middle and fold open.

Get some of your favorite deli ham and slide’er on in.

Top your ham with some good swiss cheese.

Fold the chicken breasts back up.

Wrap the stuffed breasts in bacon.

Bake the chicken in the oven at 350 degrees for about 45 minutes.

When you’re done, you’ll have a meal that earns a solid Smaste™ rating of 33.47.  A great addition to any bacon chef’s book. Try variants of your own like our Twitter buddy GotKevin’s bacon-wrapped chicken.

Now get out there and make some tasty bacon-wrapped items for you & your family and celebrate your love of bacon all year long!

< Back to Day 11

Day 11 of “The 12 Days of a Bacon-Wrapped Christmas“ brings us a bacon-wrapped polenta.

Perhaps it was inspiration from the overall shape and general countenance of the Bacon Cheese Yule Log, but when we first saw the sausage-shaped tube of Sun Dried Tomato Garlic Polenta we knew we had to wrap it in bacon. To be honest, we didn’t have a clue what Polenta was, other than the package said something about “Ready to Heat & Serve” and “Alternative to Bread and Rice”.

We should have known to turn to the lords of Wikipedia prior to trying this stuff. “Boiled Cornmeal”, “Grain Mush” and “Peasant Food” are three terms used in the Wikipedia definition for Polenta. Not a good sign, but keep in mind we’re experimenting with foods here for the 12 Days of a Bacon-Wrapped Christmas and making each item day by day so we’re not editing out the bad stuff. At any rate, here’s how we made bacon-wrapped Polenta.

We started out by weaving a mat of bacon.

Grabbed our tube of Sund Dried Tomato Garlic Polenta.

Wrapped the bacon around the Polenta and baked in the oven for about 20 minutes at 350 degrees.

We served the dish on its own – just bacon & Polenta sliced into 1/2 inch sections. I must say we were thoroughly disappointed.

This recipe earned a dismal Smaste™ rating of 18.322. If anyone knows of a good way to prepare Polenta that would accommodate adding bacon please share it with the rest of the Bacon Today audience. Otherwise, we can only say to avoid this recipe like the Polenta, er, plague.

< Back to Day 10

Day 10 of “The 12 Days of a Bacon-Wrapped Christmas“ brings us a bacon-wrapped chicken livers. Yes, the internal organs of the baryard fowl meet the belly of a a pudgy pig. What could be better?

Grab your favorite type of bacon (bonus points if you’re lucky enough to get it on “Mananger’s Special”.)

Then, pick up a a tub of chicken livers. Don’t be scared now.

Open the tub of chicken livers and peek inside. Okay, you can be a little afraid now.

Pre-cook some bacon strips. We like to nuke ours in the microwave for a minute or two.

Slap a few of those lucious livers on a plate, and after you’re done revelling in their magnificence…

Wrap the pre-cooked bacon around the chicken livers. Secure with toothpicks and pop them in the oven on a baking sheet for about 20 minutes at 400 degrees.

That’s it. You’re done. Now grab a couple of your closest friends and dare them to expand their culinary horizons.

This recipe earned a wishy-washy Smaste™ rating of 25.6. You really have to love both bacon AND liver to enjoy this meal. Having said that though, I’ll readily admit I felt a sense of accomplishment and a fulfilment of some fargone traditional values when I ate the chicken livers. My great-grandmother would have been so proud.

< Back to Day 9

Day 9 of “The 12 Days of a Bacon-Wrapped Christmas“ brings us a bacon-wrapped tofu. This recipe is quick & easy and quite tasty since the tofu really takes on the flavor of the other ingredients.

Buy yourself a pack of firm tofu. We chose a non-refrigerated variety.

Take the tofu out of the pack and wrap it in some paper towels. Put a heavy book on top of the tofu block for about 10 minutes to squeeze out a lot of the moisture.

Get some soy sauce…

and some brown sugar…

and combine the two in a bowl.

Mix the soy sauce and brown sugar together to make a thin marinade.

Now, slice the tofu in cubes and trim some raw bacon strips in half to fit your cubes of tofu.

Wrap the bacon around the tofu cubes. Secure with toothpicks if necessary.

Dip each cube in the marinade. Cover the tofu/bacon cubes generously with the marinade.

Cook the cubes in a frying pan over medium heat until the bacon is as crispy as you like. You’ll probably have to turn the cubes a few times as you cook.

The final result is a pretty, great tasting treat you can use as an appetizer for nearly any meal. This recipe earns a solid Smaste™ rating of 38.92. Highly recommended!

< Back to Day 8

Day 8 of “The 12 Days of a Bacon-Wrapped Christmas“ brings us a bacon-wrapped brussels sprouts. Special thanks to Eron G. for giving us the inspiration to come up with a bacon + veggie recipe.

As always, we start with a fresh pack of hearty bacon. We chose Farmer John Old-Fashioned Maple Bacon for this recipe.

Gather up 10-12 Brussels Spouts and get ready for action.

Boil the little green monsters until they’re tender enough to easily stab with a fork.

While the sprouts are boiling, pre-cook some bacon. We cooked ours for about 2 minutes in the microwave.

Since the base for this recipe is the evil Brussels Sprout, we decided to add some honey to candy up the veggie taste.

Wrap your sprouts with the bacon, secure with toothpicks, arrange in a shallow baking dish, and drench with the honey.

Roast the sprouts in an oven at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes. It’s just that easy.

Unfortunately, these little buggers only earned a Smaste™ rating of 23.79. Sorry, but you’ll have to tell the kids a bit of a fib to get them to believe these are tasty treats. Even the honey coating couldn’t disguise the fact that the heart of this meal is still brussels sprouts.

< Back to Day 7

Day 7 of “The 12 Days of a Bacon-Wrapped Christmas“ brings us a bacon-wrapped ‘Lil Smokies. That’s right, the cocktail weenies you knew & loved as a kid — now wrapped in bacon and covered in carmelized brown sugar. This recipe is sure to be a hit at your New Year’s Eve party.

Start off with a whole pack of your favorite bacon and some patience. This recipe takes over an hour to complete, but is well worth the effort.

Have some brown sugar at the ready.

Cut your bacon into three sections. This is just about the perfect size for a slice of bacon to wrap around the smokies.

Get a whole pack of Beef Lil’ Smokies. Alternatively, you may use another flavor of Hillshire Farm’s Cocktail Links.

They don’t look like much now, but we’re just getting started…

Wrap each smokie in a small strip of bacon and secure the bacon to the smokie with a toothpick. Arrange the smokies on a baking sheet.

Sprinkle a good amount of brown sugar on the smokies. Try to get as much brown sugar on the bacon-wrapped smokies themselves, as this is the sugar that will carmelize onto them and taste oh so delicious.

Bake for about 45 minutes at 325 degrees. You want the brown sugar to have melted onto the smokies and be bubbling along the pan.

What you’ll end up with is a candied meat delight with an off-the-charts Smaste™ rating of 43.75. We gave these treats to about a dozen different people and the opinion was unanimous — OMG GOOD!!! Highly recommended.

< Back to Day 6

Day 6 of “The 12 Days of a Bacon-Wrapped Christmas“ brings us a bacon-wrapped Tofurkey.

We noticed on our Turbaconducken article that many vegans & vegetarians seem to be reading Bacon Today, so we decided that the 6th day of Christmas should be dedicated to them.

We started with some “Smart Bacon” — a vegetarian bacon-like product.

Then we opened up the Tofurkey and placed the big hunk of stuffing-filled tofu in a shallow baking dish.

To add a bit of flair, we placed some mushrooms and onions in the pan along with crumbled “Smart Bacon”. We then covered the Tofurkey with the “Smart Bacon” and got ready to bake.

The directions for the Tofurkey call for baking over 3 hours.

Turns out the Tofurkey produces no moisture (I know I know…silly carnivore — thinking all meat-like substances behave like meat). The mushrooms and onions were completely dehydrated and inedible after baking. In addition, the Smart Bacon on top of the Tofurkey obtained the texture and consistancy of cardboard — I’m talking rock solid.

When sliced, the Tofurkey looked pretty good. I was pleased to see wild rice within the stuffing. On first bite, I have to say I questioned why I was doing this at all. The pleasent taste of the wild rice could not bring enough goodness to this meal for me to try a second bite. The texture of the tofu was spongy and dry, the stuffing was a combination of odd flavors and the Smart Bacon — completely inedible. We should have known after the review of similar bacon substitute on the “Eat me Daily” blog, but we had to try for ourselves. Seriously, the Smart Bacon was one of the single worst tastes I have ever experienced in my life.

I give the Tofurkey a Smaste™ rating of 12.32, but with the Smart Bacon there is no rating on the Smaste™ scale that can be issued. Just terrible. Vegetarians, I don’t know how you do it!

< Back to Day 5

Day 5 of “The 12 Days of a Bacon-Wrapped Christmas“ brings us a bacon-wrapped cheese pretzel.

We wanted to keep things simple yet tasty on day 5, so we picked up a 4-pack of Kim & Scott’s Gourmet Grilled Cheese Stuffed Pretzels, a pack of bacon, and our appetites.

The pretzels looked good coming out of the package. The cheese topping could have been distributed more evenly about the pretzel, so we hoped that the cheese stuffing would compensate for the limited cheese topping.

We popped our bacon in the WowBacon microwave cooker to pre-cook it a bit before wrapping around the pretzel and cooking in the oven.

After the pre-cooked bacon was wrapped around the pretzel, we cooked the bacon-wrapped pretzel in the oven according to the package directions.

The first bite of the pretzel gave us a good indication of what was to follow…very limited cheese. We ended up with the flavors of dough and bacon mainly, so this meal ends up with a Smaste™ rating of only 26.53. Better luck tomorrow.

< Back to Day 4