How to Get the Attention of 6 Sexy Firemen Using Bacon

The following is an annecdote from a good friend of ours. Her name has been changed for the purposes of this story. Not that she’d mind us using her name, it just makes us sound that much more important to give her a pseudonym.

Mary is a freelance designer. She had just completed the first round of demos on a new project and invited the client to her home office for an early morning review of the initial designs. To make the client feel right at home, Mary made a pot of coffee, bought some muffins, and as a special treat — made some bacon.

Now if you know Mary you’re well aware of her reputation as a true fan of bacon. She fries it, grills it, and on this occasion, decided to sprinkle some secret ingredients on the candy of meats and bake the bacon in the oven. Let me say that, from experience, Mary’s baked bacon is one of the finest treats you can ever taste.On this occasion, however, things didn’t go quite according to plan.

The coffee was brewing, the muffins were invitingly arranged on a fancy plate, and the bacon was cooking at a steady temperature. Just then the phone rang and Mary learned that the client was running tremendously late. They decided to begin the design review session on the phone while the client battled L.A. traffic on the way to Mary’s house.

During the call, Mary’s phone (she has no home phone, only a mobile) began to get spotty reception so she stepped outside onto her front patio. Traffic was worse than the client anatitcipated, in fact they shut down the freeway and re-routed traffic onto side streets, and after about a 20 minute conversation both Mary and the client decided to reschedule the meeting for a later date. Frustrated, Mary walked back into her house, sat in the living room, and turned on the morning news.

As she watched the live coverage of the freeway closure she suddenly noticed the smell of something burning. No! The bacon!

Mary rushed into the kitchen to find her oven literally glowing red from the fire within. Apparently the bacon grease had started a fire in the over and the heat was so intense the metal of the oven was aglow. Quickly, she called the fire department and within minutes the rescue workers rushed through her door.

The oven contained the fire quite well. In fact, the six firemen that arrived didn’t have to do much work at all to get the situation under control. So of course, being the gracious host that she is, Mary offered them all coffee, muffins, and some stories about bacon.

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