Bacon is Good For You

These days, within the diet world, it seems that people are on either end of a very wide spectrum. People are either embarking on crazy fad-diets with absurd invariables, or they consume as many calories a day as a small Ethiopian village does in a week.

On the extreme dieting end, you hear about all the new celebrity fad-diets that would have the traditional 1950s, meatloaf-loving, American completely aghast. One diet in particular consists purely of water, lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper; daily. Oh, correction. That would be the “Master Cleanse” where you are supposedly “ridding your body of toxins”. But last time we checked, a diet where most of your time is spent sitting on a toilet, doesn’t exactly sound like an enjoyable one. Or a very social one at that. And doesn’t someone who poops on the regular, not have to worry about said “toxins”? The intestines act as a filter for your system. They retain the good nutrients your body needs to sustain itself and pushes out the excess. Whatever toxins you’ve ingested would be dumped out into Mr. John naturally. If you’re worried about toxins you should probably stop drinking that bottle of toilet bowl cleaner.

There’s also the cabbage soup diet. While it is quite boring in flavor, it also alienates you from people since you will constantly be fertilizing the air with your flatulence. No, there wasn’t an error with Facebook. You purposely were not invited to that party.

There are so many crazy fad diets that an extreme dieting site has been erected onto the World Wide Web. Guess it’s not that surprising since people think swallowing only air could be called a diet. But aside from these absurd fad-diet eaters, you have the extreme eaters. Extreme in the way they pile the food onto their plates. Eaters, the fast food Moguls have a field day marketing new foods to.

Take the Double Down sandwich from KFC as an example. Fat strips of bacon and gooey slices of cheese, sandwiched between two fried chicken patties. While we are huge fans of bacon, and this sounds really delicious; the aggregated amount of glutinous, caloric intake has us feeling a little… unpleasantly greasy. We also feel that this sandwich would only be delicious until your fifth bite. We’re a little afraid of what would happen to our bodies afterward.

At In-N-Out, you can order a 4×4 if you want. That’s four meat patties and four slices of cheese. Mix it up and get a 2×4. That’s two meat patties and four slices of cheese. Heck, pick any number you want. Apparently, the lovely and ever-pleasant cooks at In-N-Out will even make you a 20×20. Why or how anyone would want to consume this cheeseburger is beyond us. Especially when it’s larger than your own head.

Now this leads us back to the world of glorious bacon. Because we know you’re probably pretty hungry now. And we know you’ve been asking, “What do these diets have to do with sexy, sexy bacon?” And to answer that question we would like
show people how bacon can be healthy and a good-for-you kind of diet. We know a lot of people like to vehemently denounce bacon’s nutritional value. And even though we’d like to slap them silly with a fat strip of bacon, we’re here to maturely negate their silly arguments. It’s one simple truth: Bacon is, indeed, good for you.

Here are the bare minimum facts:

Studies have shown that pregnant women who eat bacon, boost the intelligence of their child. This is because bacon is a good source of choline, which aids in the development of the child’s memory. It also protects against heart problems and premature birth.(1)

People also like to proclaim that because bacon contains nitrates and nitrites, (compounds used to preserve meat), it will cause cancer. Correction: The nitrite byproducts that actually cause cancer, known as nitrosamines, are found only in overcooked bacon. Plus, bacon that is cooked in the microwave has less nitrosamine than fried bacon.(2) And honestly, it seems that people claim everything causes cancer these days. You could be sitting on a park bench on a sunny day and someone will point out to you, “Hey, you know that sweetener you’re putting into your tea causes cancer.” And in turn you reply, “Umm, you know that sun in the sky, directly over your head causes cancer?” It’s quite a cancer-fearing world we live in these days. All in moderation, folks. All in moderation.

And if you’re still concerned about the nitrites, Bacon Freak has a Nitrite free hickory bacon. Be sure to cook it in the microwave in case you’re still concerned.

And if you’re worried about the fat content, 45% of the fat in bacon is monosaturated. The good-for-you, oleic acid, fat that can help lower bad cholesterol levels; the same fat found in olive oil.(3) There are also many studies that have revealed that eating a protein-rich diet in the morning, lowering your carbohydrate intake, and eating smaller meals throughout the day; will in fact leave you feeling full longer, help you lose weight, and boost your energy. Add in an adequate amount of exercise and you’re more likely to loose weight and keep it off.(4) More effective than consuming cabbage soup. And aside from it being tastier, you won’t be crop-dusting your coworkers all day.

It basically fries down to this: (See what I did there?) Eating a healthy amount of bacon with a side of exercise is good for you. Wow! Who knew? So put away that whole pound of bacon sitting on your plate; use the maple syrup on your pancakes instead of mixing it into a colon cocktail, and embrace the art of bacon moderation. You don’t need to get too excited, we know it’s delicious. But think of yourself as the kid in the candy store that ate half the store and made them self sick. Too much of any good thing can be dangerous. Treat your body like a temple and a playground. You’ll realize the world is a much better place with bacon in it. No need to thank us. Thank bacon.

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